Hi there! Thanks for being here. I know how hustle and bustle everyone is these days so I sincerely appreciate you spending your time here with me.
I’m Ashley. I have a superman of a husband and together we share two young boys. My family means everything to me. I will share about them occasionally because they are a huge part of my life, however, I started this blog to do something fun for myself so they will not be featured players on Thriving on Ashes.
So. Thriving on Ashes…. What exactly does that mean? The meaning behind the name is twofold. First, my name is Ashley, hence Ashes (if you’re saying, “Well, duh!” I get it, but I felt it should be stated). Second, I am the ashes resulting from the destruction of my former self. Too dramatic? Not really. I had to fundamentally change who I was. I chose to start doing things differently in my life and only then did I begin to thrive again.
I am coming out of the hardest season of my life. Last year became a very difficult year for me. In 2017 something was wrong with me. Seriously wrong with me. I took time off from activities, but I wasn’t getting better on my own. I started seeing doctors but I still wasn’t getting better, and I wasn’t getting answers from these doctors I began visiting on a regular basis. My whole life I had considered myself extremely healthy, only seeing doctors for annual checkups or the occasional illness. I had been lucky. Upon seeing doctor after doctor, which turned into being referred to multiple and varying specialists, I realized how much I had taken my health for granted. The doctors were not sure of what was going on within my body. In one case a doctor was certain of my diagnosis, but turned out to be waaaaay off base. This misdiagnosis lead me to “just deal with it” and not seeking further help because I trusted this doctor implicitly.
I woke up in pain every day. I walked with a pronounced limp. I felt anxious. My mind was no longer sharp. I was scared. No. I was terrified. Terrified that I wasn’t going to get better and this was my new normal. At my husband’s insistence I finally sought a second opinion. And I felt guilty about it. I felt like I was questioning an expert’s opinion and that I would somehow get into trouble for doing so. As it turned out, getting the second opinion, and the timing in doing so, got me on the right track. I finally started receiving answers. I started my road to recovery. More explanation about my health journey will be forthcoming. I plan to address this topic more specifically in posts to come.
I was the Ashes.
The last year plus was the hardest of my life. It fractured me. It strained my marriage. It was trying for my family. My life, metaphorically, burnt down. To. A. Crisp. But in the crumbling of my health, and in some ways my world, I have become a better version of myself. A version I never would have come to be if not for disease knocking me down. I now know that I am stronger than I ever believed myself to be. I am thriving in spite of a disease. It took getting sick for me to realize that a conventional definition of “health” may not actually be healthy. It took getting diagnosed with a chronic disease for me to end up in a better place physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Disease lead me to true health.
I am the Ashes. I am thriving.
